20090510

(Reuters) – Obits:

METHUSELAH, 21st Century

Died beautiful at one score and four.

Adored by the paparazzi.

Died noisily this morning before becoming five minutes ago. Beloved by popular culture, acquaintances and admirers alike. 'Desirable People Club' will miss him deeply until he is replaced.

Six-pack abs. Perfect form. Tattooed and pierced.

Left a note for his wailers, the Suicide Girls, imploring them to hurry up and uphold their end of the contract. Their market value is plunging by the moment: hags and crones are undesirable and formed by twentyfivetothirty.

lol, Zel! He always was a wise guy!
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